Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Viv: Party of one

I bought a Regina Spektor ticket this morning and was just about to buy a Tegan and Sara ticket when the thought of going to yet another concert by myself filled me with complete boredom.

The vast majority of the shows I took in last year, the ones I've seen this year, or have tickets to for later this year, and every classical music performance I see, I see by myself.

How come? Lots of reasons. I tend to be spontaneous. By the time I figure out someone I like or want to hear is playing, it's time to buy the tickets. I don't want to lose a good seat to track down a friend who likes the band. Other times, people tend not to be available or don't want to go to a particular show. But, the majority of the time it's because I don't want to find someone to go with me to do something I'm interested in.

I'm an only child. I'm skilled in entertaining myself. Played with dolls by myself. Played card games by myself. Wrote and drew pictures by myself. Rode my bike by myself. If none of the neighborhood kids were out, I'd create my own adventures. I didn't sit around sulking about doing things by myself, I just never really thought about it because it was my reality. Other kids would ask me if I felt lonely without siblings and I didn't, because there's a difference between being alone and being lonely and how could I miss and long for something I never experienced?

At the same time, it was drilled into me by my childhood friends that you're supposed to have someone to do things with and that if you want to go do something like swim, go to the mall or the movies, whatever, you're supposed to call up all your friends and find out who wants to go with you and if you can't find someone, well, you just don't go.

I thought that was a load of crap. Why am I not going to do something I want to do because I can't find someone else to do it with me? Oh, rebellious, independent Viv! I will say this: doing everything by yourself gets kinda old. I've been at this for quite some time and while I love my own company and treasure, value and protect my alone time like a big shiny diamond, I do like spending time with friends! Going to dinner or the movies, the museum or concerts by myself can be awfully boring because at some point during it all I just want to turn to someone and talk about what I'm experiencing. I want to share the experience with someone else.

I love that I'm the kind of person who will do her own thing (#2 of 50!) and I'm not going to stop doing things by myself, ever. But I will concede, some things are more fun with a friend.

1 comment:

Clau said...

I agree completely about the pros/cons of doing things on your own. I've been to many movies, concerts, vacations, and road trips alone just because the anticipated hassle of trying to coordinate the happiness of another is just too much. When I want to do something, I just go and do it -- no permission needed.

Most times, when traveling/exploring alone, I make friends with fellow trailers. I have made instant friends at Springsteen concerts who allowed me to be a tag-along and have a great time. I wouldn't have easily had done that if I was preoccupied with someone else.

But sadly, yes, there are some drawbacks. When something completely cool or outrageous happens, there's no one to turn to to relive that moment over and over again. "Hey, do you remember that time..." Instead I have to settle for emails, blogs and twitters to share it. Definitely not the same.