Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Do you think you can dance?

Here's the thing: I hated dancing. I was made to take tap, jazz and ballet during my childhood. On my father's side, everyone loves to dance and they're all good at it. Me? I didn't feel comfortable dancing, I hated every moment of those dance classes and I wanted nothing to do with the blah, blah, blah "express yourself" blah, blah "it's fun!" bullshit that I grew up hearing about.

When I got old enough, my friends would drag me to clubs and I'd hang by the wall, enjoying the music, watching them and everyone dance. I'd dance if I had a few drinks, under pressure from my friends, feeling uncomfortable doing something that made me feel incredibly self-conscious and doing my best to hide my discomfort. I did not consider it my form of expression at all and I absolutely did not like it.

So what the hell happened to me last month because now I have this desire that will not go away to go out dancing in addition to really wanting to take dancing lessons so I can properly learn how to cha-cha, rumba and samba?

When my grandmother died, I immediately flew down to Florida. The day or two after her memorial service, a bunch of us went out and had a few a lot of drinks and decided to go to a club afterwards. If you follow my tweets, you might recall a bunch of posts where I talked about this club. Ok, me and two family friends were the only ones younger than 40. Average age? No question over 55. I'm standing there, jaw dropping. There's a guy with a walker dancing!

So in this place, with this unlikely crowd, feeling emotional, intoxicated, and laughing hysterically, I got pulled onto the dance floor (by the two in the photo) to much protestation. And we just danced and laughed. I danced with my family and friends all night long and felt something I had never felt or connected with before: that it's about so much more than dancing.

Now I get it, the emotion behind the movement of others, the emotion behind mine and I understood why for so long I couldn't express myself this way and why it's at this point in my life that I can and want to. And, not for nothing, but it was a lot of fun.

So yeah, I think I can dance. :-)


Clau said...

I love this post. It's a glimpse into an 'awakening' of sorts. Kinda touching.

Now, go dance your ass off!

Anonymous said...

Viv - found you via bearclau. Hope you don't mind a linking relationship...skim