Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Out of focus

Today, in a bit of randomness, one of my contact lenses popped out and I lost it. It was really hard to see with one in and one not so I took the other out. And, I don't have a spare nor did I have my glasses with me so I had to go without for the rest of the day.

So what did I see?

When the subway train whizzed by, I had to determine whether it was a B or a D by looking for mostly orange with a white line cutting through it.

A work, when I looked around the office I could not tell who was standing at the far end. Those that were closer I could discern because I was able to recognize their shapes.

To see anything on my computer I had to unplug my monitor and move my laptop close to me and lean in.

At the gym, I was effortlessly able to tune out everyone around me and focus on my activity. I couldn't see anyone's expression and at a distance everyone and everything was out of focus.

Later at night, on my way home, traffic lights, street lights, car lights, were large and multiplied and looked like Christmas lights blinking in the city. When a plane went by overhead, it looked like a blinking giant light. It was all quite beautiful.

I don't spend a lot of time without my contact lenses or glasses and it made me wonder what it would be like if I didn't have them at all. While it was nice to focus at the gym, it was isolating to not see facial expressions. I also thought about how if New York were really a jungle, I'd be in trouble as I wouldn't be able to see a predator hiding waiting to pounce.

Luckily, I don't have to worry about any of this. And I immediately put my glasses on when I got home!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

a nice, rainy run

It's been an overcast, rainy day that to me, is perfect for running in. After doing a few errands and cleaning up the apartment, I changed into my running clothes and went outside for a run in the park.

Running in the rain is a time I spend focused in the present moment. I don't analyze, I don't ruminate, I don't zone out. I leave my ipod at home and pay attention to what's happening around and inside me. I listen to my breathing, feel my heart beating and my body moving. I take in the earthy fresh smells and the sound of the wind shaking the trees. I feel the rain falling on me and wipe my eyes so I can see. I look up and around at the trees and look down and step on leaves on the road. Usually the park is empty when it rains and when it rains heavily (which it didn't today), I'll scream and laugh and run through the rain like I did as a kid.

It's an experience that connects me to myself and to nature. It makes me feel mortal yet exhilarated by feeling really alive and in the moment. I'll feel an incredible rush of life... and then I get to go home and hop into a hot shower!