So while I am having fun eating foods I haven't eaten in 18 years and enjoying the taste of sausage, bacon, fish and chips, and Pop-Tarts (it has gelatin), the questions are back: Do I need to eat animals? Is my survival dependent upon it? Do I have choice in the matter? What is the value I place on the animal that died so I could indulge? How was this animal treated while it was alive? How was it killed? Am I willing to trade in my spiritual beliefs for momentary pleasures involving the death of a living creature? Is it worth it?
I remember saying many times that I would never eat meat again. And I know part of why I'm eating meat right now is about self-indulgence, resignation, and a challenge to my spiritual beliefs and the belief that I would never "fall" and never question or diverge from my own dogma. But, I don't think I can keep going down this road because it's becoming rapidly clear that eating meat means that I have to engage in hypocrisy. I don't like being a hypocrite if I can avoid it.