Friday, October 23, 2009

I've felt better, I've felt worse.

I was listening to my ipod, shuffling songs, when the song that played in the background 15 years ago while a boyfriend broke up with me came on. I let it play, those feelings are long gone now, but walking down the street with gray skies overhead, I remembered how it went down.

He was sitting on the bed and I was standing. I was asking for the reason why and as he told me, the song seemed to get louder. While he told me I wasn't "the one," I heard these lyrics over his words: "Just love yourself like no one else. Love, it's enough, they can say what they like but they still can't take your love." (Now, normally I could barely understand what Harriet Wheeler said in her songs, but this I heard very clearly.)

I was crying, he was still talking, but I was only hearing the song and dumbly repeating "I'm not the one" while feeling like the most unloved person on the planet who now had to figure out how I going to go about loving myself like no one else.

That moment could have ruined the song for me, but it didn't and for a time, I ended up playing it a lot.

Here's the song.

1 comment:

jenX said...

I'm following you on Twitter. I blog Gen X! I hate responding to people in the public timeline when I follow them and can't DM them unless they're following back. No obligation to follow. I just wanted to introduce myself.