Saturday, October 31, 2009

Don't take the chair

I'm sitting at a coffeeshop, alone, at a small table. I'm enjoying a latte, a cupcake that's way too small, and I'm reading my book. I'm comfy and I'm happy.

But then some girl comes up to me and wants to take the empty chair to another table with her friends. And I lie and tell her someone's coming.

I know this sounds kinda selfish but when you take that chair away all of a sudden I become unapproachable. You get to sit with your friends but now no one will have a chance to sit with me. Ever walk into a coffeeshop and spy those people sitting at a table alone with no other chair? It's isolating.

The empty chair is there as an opportunity for someone to join me at this table. Once, in this very coffeeshop, someone sat with me. That happens. Some people will sit with you if they see an empty chair available and talk with you.

So don't take that chair away from that man or woman sitting alone. Wait until something frees up. Because you don't know what you're taking away from them.

Sent from my iPhone

Friday, October 23, 2009

I've felt better, I've felt worse.

I was listening to my ipod, shuffling songs, when the song that played in the background 15 years ago while a boyfriend broke up with me came on. I let it play, those feelings are long gone now, but walking down the street with gray skies overhead, I remembered how it went down.

He was sitting on the bed and I was standing. I was asking for the reason why and as he told me, the song seemed to get louder. While he told me I wasn't "the one," I heard these lyrics over his words: "Just love yourself like no one else. Love, it's enough, they can say what they like but they still can't take your love." (Now, normally I could barely understand what Harriet Wheeler said in her songs, but this I heard very clearly.)

I was crying, he was still talking, but I was only hearing the song and dumbly repeating "I'm not the one" while feeling like the most unloved person on the planet who now had to figure out how I going to go about loving myself like no one else.

That moment could have ruined the song for me, but it didn't and for a time, I ended up playing it a lot.

Here's the song.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Overblown reactions to dumb shit part 1

Keffiyehs - Why do these drive me up the wall? Why do I want to strangle people who wear them with them? I think it's how it's worn - folded in half to make a triangle, then gathered around the neck to leave one point facing down in the center of the chest, like a bandanna gone wrong - that's getting on my nerves. Otherwise, I can't explain my passionate and vocal dislike for this style. It's not hipster hate - y'all know I love them hipsters - but can we stop with these scarves now?
Hey, Rachel Ray freaking wears them. Isn't that reason enough to stop?

DON'T DO THIS

I retract my previous post

As you likely figured out by now, I'm not moving to San Francisco. I changed my mind. More came out of that decision and undeciding it than I was prepared for or wanted. I don't want to write about it publicly, though (I know, surprising). Nothing's a secret, so ask me if you want to have a conversation, but be prepared to discuss it over drinks and/or dinner.

Dinner... that reminds me: I finally bought a dining table and chairs. One of those folding space saving kind. So people, you're going to start getting dinner invites. And, if you show up wearing a Keffiyeh, I will give you major shit for it.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Moving to San Francisco!

I'm moving to San Francisco in December!

It's not completely out of left field. It's something I've thought about for years and always had one excuse or another as to why I wasn't going to move. I like familiarity and the safety of my life. I'm soooo comfortable here in my cozy apartment. I love Brooklyn and Prospect Park and the Park Slope Food Co-op and I love the people in my life here. But, losing my job changed the routine and allowed me a lot of time to think about what I wanted out of myself and out of this life. It's time for something else. I've lived in this area (NJ/NY/MA) my entire adult life. I want to switch it up, have new experiences. Shake up my life. See what happens.

Even though I'm excited, I'm sad too. I think about all the incredible people I know here and how I'll be lucky if I'll see them once or twice a year now. I will say this to my NY friends (and you'll hear me say it again later): I will make the effort to keep in touch via IM, twitter, FB, email, phone, text and I'll come to visit. I hope you do the same.

So, now for some Q&A:

Q: You got a job over there?
A: Not yet. If you got some connections, please let me know!

Q: You got a place yet?
A: Not yet. I'll be staying briefly with some friends and am trying to get a sublet. I have two kitties that are coming with me, so it makes it a little harder.

Q: Damn, girl. You crazy?
A: Huh? No! You know I got it covered!

Q: Will you come back and visit?
A: Yes. And, I'm already paid up for a conference here in NYC in early 2010. Can I stay at your place? Seriously. Can I?

Q: Can I visit you in SF and stay at your place?
A: You better! If you don't, I will be very, very sad.

Q: Will you ever move back to NY?
A: I don't know. Nothing is ruled out. Besides, I love NY.

Q: Will you miss me?
A: Very much.